morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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