I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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