while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize