Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
