You smell like stripper and shame
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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