is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if only i could text you this smell
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize