Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
