All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
