Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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