they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
