still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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