Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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