how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
