just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
