You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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