whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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