I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
