did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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