I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
