What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
