Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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