how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
