You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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