are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
