Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
