I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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