is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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