Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
