apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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