Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize