i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
