No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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