So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I want her autograph on my taint
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
