Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
