My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize