I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
