I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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