white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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