On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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