He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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