I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
