I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
