just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
