You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize