i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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