Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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