thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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