So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
