Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
