FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
