But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize