He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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