im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
