I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
