Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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