was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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