a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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