HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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