Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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