I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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