why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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