just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
