He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
