Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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