I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
