i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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