So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
