Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
