So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize