She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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