Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize